Hi, my name is Vaibhavi Goyal, and welcome to Choose Fullness.

Have you ever had a disagreement with someone and couldn’t shake the weight of the conversation, even hours later? Maybe you felt heavy, angry, or replayed what you said—wishing you’d phrased it differently, wishing you had “won” the exchange. These are the conversations I dread the most. The ones tangled in up egos, flooded with condescension, where the goal isn’t to connect but to prove who’s right and who’s wrong.

Growing up, I was stubborn and as hard-headed as can be. My worth was tied to being the smartest in the room, and I’d argue my point to the very end—even if I realized halfway through that I was wrong. I thought winning mattered more than listening, that being clever mattered more than being compassionate. Thankfully, with time (and some frontal lobe development), I realized disagreements don’t have to be hostile. They can be opportunities, chances to understand another person’s perspective and to ask myself if my own opinion needs to shift. I know the idea sounds obvious, it’s basically what people mean when they say they’re “open-minded.” But if we’re all as open-minded as we claim, why do we live in a world filled with friction, conflict, and constant arguments? Why do politics and religion spark defensiveness so quickly? Why do so many of us cling to our party’s talking points or our family’s traditions without pausing to ask if they still ring true for us?

I’ve come to believe the problem isn’t disagreements themselves, but the way we see them. Most of us treat a disagreement like a battle, but what if we treated it like a gift? Think about the topics you’re most passionate about—whether it’s politics, faith, science, or even something personal like financial security. Those passions usually tie back to lived experiences. Maybe you love astronomy because your grandpa showed you the stars through his telescope. Maybe you fight against high taxes because you’ve seen how they affect your family’s ability to save. Or maybe you’re passionate about social programs because you’ve watched them provide a lifeline to someone you love.

Now imagine someone with the opposite experience: the woman across the street who relies on food stamps, or the neighbor who sees taxes as a burden holding his family back. Whose perspective is more valid? The truth is, both are. Each person’s beliefs are shaped by the life they’ve lived, by the stories they carry. And when two people with such different experiences sit down to talk, the only way forward is to see those differences as gifts. That’s the hard part, it requires setting aside ego, resisting the urge to be defensive, and choosing to see another person’s story as an opportunity for growth.

Talking with someone who disagrees with you isn’t just about testing your patience—it’s about testing your values. If you hold firm after hearing their side, your beliefs are stronger because they’ve been tested. And if you change your mind, your new perspective is richer because it’s rooted in more than just your own experience. Either way, you grow, but you can’t get there if you’re defensive from the start.

This is also why paying attention to the world matters. News can feel overwhelming, even tragic, but it connects us to experiences outside our own. It reminds us that life isn’t just about our bubble. When we learn about the struggles of strangers, we grow in empathy, we’re more motivated to push for change that benefits others, not just ourselves. Avoiding the news might feel easier, but it robs us of a chance to connect and care for others. Staying informed isn’t about absorbing endless bad news, it’s about widening the reach of our compassion. Even when the headlines are heavy, they’re reminders that the world is bigger than our own corner, and that empathy has to stretch beyond what we’ve personally lived.

Of course, disagreements hit hardest when they’re with people we love. Parents and children often fight over politics or values. On the surface, it can feel like stubbornness, but often, it comes from love. A parent may genuinely believe their perspective will protect their child, just as the child believes their own view is the truer path. It’s important to remember: in the same way you believe you’re right, the other person believes they are too. But, that doesn’t mean we excuse closed-mindedness or constant shutdowns. If someone refuses to see conversation as an opportunity for growth, that’s their loss. But we can still approach these moments with empathy, recognizing the love or fear beneath the disagreement.

The way we handle disagreements shapes the quality of our relationships and our potential simultaneously. Look for people who are empathetic, slow to speak, and willing to listen. These are the people worth engaging with, they’re the ones who can help refine your beliefs, challenge your assumptions, and make you stronger. And when you notice someone who consistently shuts down conversation, who refuses to see beyond their own perspective, you can recognize that too—and choose where to invest your energy. Not every conversation will be fruitful. Not every disagreement will lead to growth. But the ones that do are worth the discomfort.

The next time you find yourself in one of those heavy conversations, don’t let it linger as a burden. Instead, see it as a chance for transformation. A chance to step outside yourself and into a more diverse, abundant way of thinking. Your experiences define you, but they don’t have to confine you. Let your perspective be shaped not just by your story, but by the stories of everyone you encounter.

So remember—your glass is full. Whether you see it that way is up to you.